


Welcome to FLARP

by FishPrincess



Series: HSWC 2014 Bonus Round 1 [14]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Black Romance, Blood, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/M, Mild Language, Violence, mentions of mind control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-15 00:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2209380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FishPrincess/pseuds/FishPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember when Vriska forced Karkat to go Flarping with her after he lost a bet? For HSWC Bonus Round 1. A response to a prompt by crispychocolate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Welcome to FLARP

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crispyCh0colate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispyCh0colate/gifts).



“Roll, Karkat!”

Karkat Vantas did not want to roll. He didn’t want to stand in the middle of an Alternian forest with creatures that made terrifying sounds in the distance. He didn’t want to play this stupid game, and he certainly didn’t want to be dressed in these clothes. Sure, at one time, he wanted to be a Threshecutioner, but dressing like one with a sickle in hand for the purpose of roleplaying was simply moronic. The jacket he wore was far too heavy, his pants too tight. Vriska must have stolen this outfit from a crying wiggler.

Unfortunately, Karkat Vantas was the kind of troll who always kept his word, no matter what. In reality, he had convinced himself that the bet she casually threw at him was an automatic lose for the cerulean blood. Even with mind manipulation taken into account, there was no possible way that she could be right. The deal stated that if Karkat was correct, like he should have been all along, then Vriska would be forever banned from speaking to him again. She agreed, but argued that if she was right, then he would have to play a round of this stupid Fucking Live Action Roleplaying game.

Of course that’s what the F stood for. Fucking Live Action Roleplaying, because it was insufferable to anyone with a semblance of a brain. His thoughts on the subject remained the same as Vriska stood next to him in some kind of ill-fitting pirate outfit.

Karkat couldn’t rid the sight of the gaming flapstractions from his peripheral vision, and because of it, he continued to swat at them. Although they appeared holographic, they were both tangible and incredibly light in weight. Instead of falling away, they seemed to be propelled by the force of being thrown back and catapulted into his face every time.

“Don’t hit the flapstractions, dipshit,” Vriska said, standing next to him and rolling her eyes. “You don’t touch them, they’re just there for me to control!”

“What, like everything fucking else?” Karkat groaned, shoulders slumped. “When is this over? Aren’t you supposed to be like watching me from afar or something and staying the fuck away so I can spew self-deprecating shit to myself for being that much of an idiot to ever agree to something like this?”

Vriska glared at him. “I’m not even pulling you into a real game, dumbass. This is a version for wigglers, we don’t even have enough players to do the actual game. You’d probably get yourself killed in a matter of seconds. You should be thanking me for being so generous. But no, you’re whining. Whiny, whiny, whining! Just roll, already!”

“What, roll, so we can pretend to play an already pretend game with fucking pretend dice?”

“You lost the bet! Shut up and roll!”

With an overdone sigh, he held the dice in his hands and glanced down at them. “Where the fuck do I roll it? On the ground? Maybe I’ll roll it all the way over there and make you pick it up! Or I could even throw the dice at your fucking face and absorb enough luck to end this thing and get me out of here!”

Vriska threw up her hands in frustration. “Oh, my God, this isn’t even fun anymore! You really want me to tell you to roll it on the ground? You can’t figure that out for yourself?”

“I can figure out that you’re a manipulative psycho that’s getting off on watching me make a fucking fool of myself!”

She snorted, stepping forward to try to yank the dice away from Karkat. He closed his fingers over the dice just in time for Vriska to grab his hand, her claws digging in.

“Let go, or I’ll make you let them go!”

Karkat winced. “What? Fuck, no! Get your fucking bitch smelling fingers off of me!”

“Fucking bitch smelling? Do you hear the things you say sometimes? Someone’s trying too hard!” She tried to pry his hands apart with force, cackling. “Let go!”

“Fuck, no!”

“Three,” Her eyes narrowed as his hands started to bleed red from the grip of her nails. “Two-“

Karkat lowered his head one swift motion and dug his teeth into her arm. She yelped in pain, and with a growl, tackled him to the ground. The dice left Karkat’s hand and rolled, but it was no longer about the dice, now. Vriska pinned him down, a grin on her face.

“What the fuck are you doing? You’re shithive maggots insane!” Karkat squirmed, his hands digging into her arms in an attempt to push her off of him. He aimed to knee her in the stomach, but he failed miserably.

“What is it, Karkat? Feeling a little stuck? Not having fun? That’s what happens when you don’t play the game. But of course, you had to ruin everything! All I’m doing is showing you a good time!”

Karkat’s saw a shadow looming over Vriska, the flapstractions around his head flashing a bright red. Speechless, he pointed upward, his lips quivering and his eyes growing wide.

“Aw, did I scare you? And I didn’t even have to try!” Vriska shook her head, fangs glistening beneath cruel blue eyes. When Karkat failed to respond, she noticed his attention was no longer on her. Her expression hardened and she twisted around to see a giant monster looming over the two of them. Its roar was loud enough to deafen sensitive ears.

“Fuck!” she exclaimed, rolling off of Karkat and scrambling to pick up the dice. “This wasn’t supposed to happen this early!”

Karkat scrambled to his feet, backing up as the monster charged toward them, its long arms swinging to hit him. He dodged just in time, skipping awkwardly to the side and out of the way.

“Vriska, what is this?!” Karkat said, holding out his sickle that he still had no idea how to use despite sweeps of swinging it at the air when he was bored.

“It’s the boss I made for you as your clouder! But you were supposed to find the weapon to beat it first!”

“What fucking weapon?!” he said, as the monster roared, its large jaws dripping long strands of drool onto the ground. Karkat’s pusher pounded within his chest.

“It doesn’t matter!”

“Do I kill it?”

“You can’t fucking kill it with a sickle, genius!” She looked around frantically, seven dice in her hand. “Unless…Where’s the eighth dice?!”

The monster charged at the two of them, ginormous web feet stomping forward in a mad rage. Karkat spotted the last die only to pick it up.

“Roll, Karkat!” Vriska shouted, and Karkat threw the die against the ground. The monster lit up in a bright neon green.

“Now, hit it! Get its throat!”

Without hesitance, Karkat used his sickle to slash the throat of the monster, and within seconds, the image of it flickered until it completely disappeared.

Out of breath, Karkat fell to his knees and tossed the sickle aside, his eyes widened.

“Well, that was fucking intense!”

Vriska smirked, a sense of pride evident in her gaze as she walked over beside him and hit him over the head with the back of her hand.

“Nice going, you beat the boss!”

He rubbed his head and growled, muttering before speaking up. “You are the worst, most fucking batshit troll I’ve ever met.”

Her grin remained as she knelt down beside him and stuck her hideously pretty face right next to his.

“Right back at you, except minus the crazy and add in a big fucking whiner.”

Her hand grabbed his chin forcefully and she nearly bit into his lips without a moment to spare. He didn’t pull away.

Fucking Live Action Roleplaying.


End file.
